★ To know me as hardly golden

[poppyapples]

Season One, Episode Eighteen - Somebody's Watching Episode Wiki

"An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means. There is no such thing in the country."
- Bernard Shaw

This is a major episode. Bear with me as I try to straighten out Reid's lack of a love life.


"Hanging out with you could be really depressing."

In order to describe Reid's first meeting with Lila, it's best to start from the very beginning and detail what kind of man he was before she walked into his life, even more so since this is the first time we see him in contact with anything personal outside of the BAU. I've already described how much he's grown over the last 17 episodes, and all that growth really shows when he's first approached by Parker. While he's uncomfortable and a little unsure how to handle himself he remains confident and aside from some intense discomfort at the hug, he's handling himself pretty well. The way Parker talks to him ("Hasn't changed at all") alludes to what kind of school life Reid had as a 12-year old high school graduate and it couldn't have been entirely easy to meet up with someone that no doubt made his life a little harder to live back in the day. By now Reid has pride in his work and it shows, especially compared to Gideon's reaction at the gallery owner - he's tense and keeps his tone short, like a father wanting to beat up the one who bullied his son but knows he shouldn't.

And then Lila walks in and Reid's confidence practically melts away.

He's always been awkward in social situations, but he's never fallen over himself quite as much as he does in this first scene. He's barely able to get his name out properly and most sentences ends up being a question in all this love-struck confusion. The fact that Lila is a blonde - and Reid does have a thing for blondes - certainly can't help him keep his feet on the ground but he does seem to regain his composure some once the blood returns to his head, and when they're chatting about work he could almost be mistaken for being confident. He still glances away every so often and his body language is stiff, but at the same he seems pretty comfortable around her surprisingly quickly, even more so when they're looking at the art piece together. When Gideon wants to leave he even protests and would probably have continued to do so if his mentor wasn't so incredibly keen on avoiding his young admirer.

To me it's pretty clear that he was infatuated with her from the very start and I doubt anyone would disagree. At the same time he's there to do a job, and his professionalism coupled with his own low self-esteem when it comes to romance means that for a long while we only get glimpses of how she affected him. It's also perfectly clear that she fell for him too at roughly the same time - they both have a look of surprised relief when they realize who the other one is in the police station, and out of all the agents that could and should follow her outside after she panics, it's Reid that moves the quickest. Lila in turn addresses him with his first name rather than his surname, which up until this point hasn't happened with anyone outside the BAU family.

The break-scene at the film set is the next vital part of this episode, and we already get to see how much Reid is thinking about how he's coming across to this girl. He apologizes to her for his insensitive and analytical behavior - which is normal to him - and although the apology itself comes easily it's clear that he's trying very hard to be normal and not so socially awkward. Then, when she takes his bottle of soda and has a drink he not only says that it's okay, he also takes a drink right after her without wiping the bottle off first. For a germophobe that's a pretty big deal and it seems like he's drinking because she had her lips on it, not because he was thirsty.

Another thing to note is that although he looks away while she's taking off her bathrobe, his eyes are practically glued to her as she walks away and his quick "Shut up!" to Morgan's mocking could not resemble a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar any more even if it tried. To top it off he's so flustered that he stalks off in the wrong direction!

There are a few more minor instances where we see the inner conflict between SA Reid and the young man Spencer. Disagreeing with Gideon about whether or not they should tell Lila about her manager is definitely one of them, and just like when she said he was just doing his job the infliction in his voice points towards something a lot more personal.

When they arrive at her house he's trying to be professional and do his job, but it's a difficult balance to uphold and he's constantly struggling to do his duty while still trying to get Lila to like him and not come off not having any sort of social competence. Normally when he makes a strange comment around someone who only knows him in a professional capacity he doesn't really care, but now he does - a lot. So much so that he keeps falling out of his professional mindset: first when they arrive at the house, later when she asks if he wants tea, and right before she jumps in the pool he seems to have relaxed enough to just give up the fight completely. He even admits to finding "something appealing" in the photo collage of her face, which all things considered is as much of a confession as anyone could hope for at this point.

Another thing that points at how emotionally invested he is in Lila is what he says when she jumps into the pool for a swim: "I've known you for 48 hours, I feel like I've already aged ten years!"

It's easy to chalk that statement down as desperation over a difficult situation, which isn't made any better by her irresponsibility over her own safety, but I feel like there's more to it than that. By now Reid has been in plenty of stressful situations and risked his life more than once - and he's never complained. He didn't say anything to Elle after the hostage situation on the train, or Hotch during the aftermath of LDSK. Not once during the last 17 episodes has he referred to himself as being the one hurt by it, and seeing as he does scold her ("You're being pursued by a psychotic killer who shoots people in the head!") that's not entirely what this comment is about either - Lila tells him to live a little and he responds by telling her that he's lived more in the last two days than he has in his entire life.


"There's this thing called transferrance..."

And then there's the kiss.

If his personal and professional life was clashing before, that's nothing compared to the tug-of-war they're engaged in during this scene. When Lila first initiated the kiss it's almost as if Reid is caught so unprepared that he responds to it without even thinking - he's actually going with it before their lips even touch. He then breaks it off because it goes against the regulations of the FBI, and for a while he's not responding to her advances at all - but also not really fighting them. This is when his self-esteem issues kick in: since this is his first kiss ever, at the age of 24, he's not only lacking experience but his confidence in himself when it comes to romantic feelings has long since hit rock bottom. He simply cannot believe that she would be into him for him, and quickly explains it away on a psychological event that happens between protector and protectee.

Reid: There's this thing called transferrance...
Lila: You don't like me?
Reid: What?
Lila: You don't like me.
Reid: No, are you craz-- I like you!
Lila: I like you.
Reid: I like you too.

There's a definite difference in the way he acts after this dialog: he's still resisting her advances but he's so much more relaxed doing so and little by little he's starting to give in. It's a subtle yet obvious inner struggle and for a moment it looks like he's about to lose - he's pressing in to the kiss before breaking it, and while she's talking he subconsciously moves his head as if trying to initiate another, lips parted and all. He very, very nearly gives in... and then his conscience gets the better of him and he backs off, forcefully. Not because of rules and regulations this time, but rather because he's too good a guy to kiss a girl and not tell her the truth.

Her reaction to being told the truth is also pretty revealing for the both of them. Despite only having known Reid for two days and being well aware that he's just doing his job, Lila takes this offence very personally to the point where she storms out of the pool telling him to not touch her. Granted, it's a very emotional situation and she's well within her rights to react the way she does after such a sudden loss, but it's directed entirely at Reid. She blames him personally for not telling her, despite knowing he couldn't.

As for Reid, he takes the blame just as easily, despite protesting against Gideon's order to not tell Lila in the first place. It's easy to see just how incredibly guilty he feels over that betrayal of trust - a common theme with Reid - and he looks absolutely heartbroken when he approaches Lila again. His first words to her are "Are you still... are you okay?" indicating that his main concern was not whether or not she was alright (he knows she isn't) but rather if she was still mad at him. It hurts him deeply that he betrayed her in that way and he's honestly afraid that he might've blown the first chance at love he's ever gotten.

Next we have the big hero scene, when Maggie is cornerning Reid and Lila with a gun. This is another moment where we see Reid's usual solution to problems: disarming himself almost immediately, thus making himself out to be even less of a threat than before. It's working pretty well and up until he tells Maggie that he and Lila kissed in the pool she barely acknowledges him. There's not a whole lot to say about this scene, but one could argue that the parts he stumbles on when he tries to get Maggie's attention is actual the parts that are true. In previous episodes when Reid had to negotiate his way out of a tough situation he hasn't stumbled much, but his voice goes down to a whisper when he claims that Lila loves him or that they kissed in the pool. Still can't quite believe his own luck.

All that's left are the goodbyes, and they are pretty heartbreaking. Despite being practically pulled away by agents of different kinds, Reid and Lila are caught in their own little bubble, completely ignoring the rushed calls to the best of their abilities. It's so clear that this is not the goodbye they wanted and neither of them are really sure how to handle it, which leaves them with tentative promises of meeting up and a silent understanding that if this place wasn't so full of paparazzi? They'd kiss.

Instead they settle for a hand-on-shoulder-snug so good it makes the cover of some gossip magazine. Said magazine ends up fondly hidden in Reid's desk drawer at the end and I can't help but wonder if he still got it.


"Don't go selling yourself short, kid."

Like most Reid-centric episodes, there's still a lot to say about the way the team interacts with him and like always the most important of these interactions is Gideon's.

We've already touched upon his paternal, protective behavior in the very beginning of the episode and that is something that sticks with him throughout. He's quietly encouraging Reid to pursue this thing with Lila because, let's face it, the boy could use some romance in his life. This manifests both in a way that may be unintentional, like how he assigns Reid to tasks that require that he stays close to Lila, but also in more direct ways like during the scene at her house after they've found the paparazzi in the bushes. When he hears that Reid is in trouble for following what was essentially his orders, he steps in like a proper dad and shows just what a stand-up guy Reid really is by taking on his own rightful blame. He even pats Reid on the shoulder at the very end, which to me is a very paternal way to show approval and that he's got his back.

Elle isn't doing much this episode, but it's interesting to see how aggressive she is when confronted with Reid and Lila's budding infatuation. After destroying the film in the paparazzi's camera she stalks up to Reid, handing him the tangle of film with a snide "You're welcome". Whether she's scolding him because he slacked off on the job or if she just has a personal problem with the whole thing is really anyone's guess.

And then there's Morgan, of course. Throughout most of the episode he does his best to tease Reid, which is nothing new, but it's important to point out that what was originally bordering on bullying is really nothing but harmless teasing at this point. He's kind of rooting for the kid, something that is extremely clear in the final scene in the bullpen when Reid once again confides in Morgan and looks to him for advice. He very firmly tells Reid to stop it with the self-deprecating nonsense and even claims that in his book, the young Agent is definitely a hero for doing what he did. It's a very lovely bonding experience and it's pretty great to see how close they've grown to each other, starting with "The Popular Kids".


Miscellaneous observations

• We learn that Reid was 12 when he graduated high school.

• We also learn that the BAU arranges training in criminal profiling for local law enforcement.

• A note on Reid and holding lectures: in the past he's been shown to be awkward and long-winded but it seems like he's hit a good stride. He's confident and speaks with a clear, steady voice. He may sound like he's reciting from a text book, but that's probably because it's exactly what he does. It bears to note that the subject is victimology.

• Reid is seen drinking Coke, which is high in caffeine and sugar. Kind of like his coffee.

• Lila's favorite flowers are red anemones. This may be relevant to Reid even later on.

• Actor spotting: Peter Jacobson // Chris Taub from House MD